Sitting at my desk, papers scattered everywhere, I look at the bottom right corner of my Chromebook. “Midnight,” it read. “My 17th birthday,” it said. I look in the mirror and see tears streaming down my cheeks. I still have speeches to memorize, math to learn, and note cards to study. I decided to give up the joy of that day for the joy of my future. I decided to give up my happiness for years for the happiness of my future. What would I have done differently if I knew after all that sacrifice, I would still be deferred from my dream school? What would I have done differently if I knew that no matter how hard I worked, I wouldn’t be enough? Deferred—neither accepted nor denied—still in the race but falling behind. Glad to have not been denied, glad to have had prior education, and glad this is what troubles my mind most, but a punch in the gut nonetheless. Good thing I know how to survive a punch, and so do you. What most upset me about being deferred from my dream school was that I thought I wasted all of my high school years working towards a goal that I failed to reach. While on the surface level, this may appear true, it is far from reality. My dad sat me down the night I was deferred and told me that no “failure” could close all of the doors I had already opened. No “failure” could take away all of the lessons I have learned on the journey to achieving my goals. Though I was set in my pessimistic ways, I couldn’t deny the truth: my dad was right. All those nights staying up studying taught me how to be diligent. All those questions asked to teachers after class taught me how to be devoted. All those days I wanted to give up, but didn’t, taught me how to be disciplined. No deferral, rejection, or failure could take these attributes away from me. They can’t take them from you either, as long as you refuse to give them the power to. Having a challenging goal to work for all of these years pushed me to work my hardest, and it was enough. The truth is that tens of thousands of students apply to the same college, and admissions only have so much time to spend on each applicant. I realized that searching for flaws in my application or spending time looking for the secret ingredient that would make colleges love me was a waste of time. I was proud of my application and all that it encompasses. And if a college feels different, I have to accept their choice because it’s the only way to move forward. I’m not going to let a school that barely knows me define my worth. I’m not going to let a stranger who looks at my application for 60 seconds define my worth. My worth is defined by the choices I make after success and, more importantly, after “failure.” These principles apply to every type of rejection, and they will prove to be invaluable in this life, where rejection is inevitable. What would I have done differently if I knew after all that sacrifice, I would still be deferred from my dream school? What would I have done differently if I knew that no matter how hard I worked, I wouldn’t be enough? Honestly? I think I would have done everything pretty much the same. I would like to say I’d work less and have more fun, but setting high goals and challenging myself is a part of who I am. The only thing I wish I could say to my past self is that you were enough—you always have been enough. At the end of the day, I’m proud of myself. And while I’d still love to be accepted to my dream school, I know things will work out no matter where I end up. Congratulations to all those that got into their dream schools and to all those that didn’t, because no matter what, you’re still the amazing person you were before a college tried to define your worth.