We Ask, You Answer


photo by ava parr

Evan Loftus pretends to be shy in front of the camera after his interview.

Victim: Evan Loftus (12)
Amstadt: What’s your biggest red flag?
Loftus: You.
Amstadt: Who is your celebrity look alike?
Loftus: How would I know?… Harry Potter


Victim: Alyssa Kuhn (12)
Amstadt: What is your go-to Kwik trip order?
Kuhn: Chicken tenders and a chocolate milk, for sure.


Victim: Brooklyn Radecke (11) w/ special guest Malia Rippe (12)
Amstadt: How do you feel about the ACT tomorrow?
Radecke: Horrible.
Amstadt: Kiss or slap?
Radecke: Slap.
Amstadt: What’s your biggest pet peeve?
Radecke: Either people chewing with their mouths open or people who lie for no reason at all.
Rippe: But that’s so fun. Like, where are you from? Texas.


Victim: Jordan Bellisle (12)
Amstadt: What’s your personal biggest red flag?
Bellisle: I’m short.
Amstadt: Fax.


Victim: Charlie Rowley (History and Government teacher)
Amstadt: How are you dealing with the fame after last month’s [Norse Star] article?
Rowley: Not well.
Amstadt: Driver or passenger princess?
Rowley: I drive.


Victim: Emma Chase (12)
Amstadt: What’s a conspiracy theory you believe in?
Chase: The Denver airport is the headquarters of the Illuminati.
Amstadt: Who’s your celebrity crush?
Chase: Chris Evans.


Victim: Luke Meier (12)
Amstadt: What’s your favorite form of potato?
Meier: It has got to be mashed. It’s not close.
Amstadt: What’s your hot take?
Meier: Birthday cake is vile. I think it’s absolutely disgusting.
Amstadt: All cakes or just cakes on birthdays? What about cakes on non-birthdays?
Meier: Anything related to birthday cake is the worst.
Amstadt: What about an anniversary cake?
Meier: Nothing can justify a cake.


Victim: Jordan Packard (12) w/ special guest Maddie Reott (12)
Amstadt: Do you believe a hot dog is a sandwich?
Packard: No.
Amstadt: If you had to get a tattoo, what would you get and where?
Packard: I would get a ladybug on the back of my arm.
Amstadt: What’s the significance?
Packard: My parents have called me “bug” since I was a little kid.
Amstadt: Wait, same. That’s what my dad calls me.
Reott: That’s because you look like a bug.


Victim: Nicholas Carpenter (12)
Amstadt: What’s the best hangout place in Stoughton?
Carpenter: I would have to say Walmart or Starbucks.


Victim: Reinaldo Torna (12)
Amstadt: What’s your hot take?
Reinaldo: Linux is better than Windows.


Victim: Ethan Zywicki (9)
Amstadt: What’s your favorite form of potato?
Zywicki: French fry.
Amstadt: If you had to be trapped in any room in SHS for a year, which room would you choose?
Zywicki: Mr. Brabender’s room.
Amstadt: Why?
Zywicki: Because I can do a lot of stuff in there.


Victima: Taylor Nagel (Spanish Teacher)
Amstadt: Crunchy or smooth peanut butter?
Nagel: Yo tengo una alergia a cacahuetes. I’m allergic to peanut butter.
Amstadt: Oh no. If you could see anyone in concert, who would you see?
Nagel: Beyonce, for sure.


Victim: Owen Corbet (9)
Amstadt: Driver or passenger princess?
Owen: Passenger princess […] then I can put my feet on the dash.
Amstadt: What’s your favorite form of potato?
Owen: Baked potato.


Victim: Eliza Albert (11)
Amstadt: How much can you bench?
Albert: 350 on a good day.
Amstadt: What’s your death row meal?
Albert: Chicken nuggets from McDonald’s and a Diet Coke.
Amstadt: What’s your biggest green flag [in someone]?
Albert: If they can read…a book.
Amstadt: What’s your personal biggest red flag?
Albert: I don’t have any red flags. I’m perfect.


Victim: Lukas Hartberg (10)
Amstadt: What condiment would you swim in?
Hartberg: Chick-fil-A sauce.
Amstadt: If you could change your name to any other name, what would it be?
Hartberg: Michael.
Amstadt: Why?
Hartberg: Why not? I’ve always just loved the name Michael.
Amstadt: Would you go by Mike?
Hartberg: I’d go by Al.
Amstadt: Oh yeah, like Al Capone?


Victim: Evan Schmidt (12)
Amstadt: Who’s your celebrity crush?
Schmidt: Zendaya.
Amstadt: What has been her best performance?
Schmidt: Euphoria.
Amstadt: Not K.C. Undercover?
Schmidt: No. Season two of Euphoria, specifically.
Amstadt: If you could swim in any condiment, which would you choose?
Schmidt: Ranch… or maybe queso.