If I had a podcast, my dream guest would be… Jojo Siwa. Haters will ask me why. Haters will say Jojo Siwa needs help. However, I’d disagree! Jojo Siwa is the Taylor Swift of our generation, and people need to realize her power. Why be a Swiftie when you could be a Siwanator? Now, as much as I love just rambling on about Jojo, I need to focus… I only have one page.
Jojo is such a diverse artist and has a lot of experience in many fields. From Dance Moms to being the first same-sex couple on Dancing with the Stars, her talents know no bounds. From Kylie Prew to Avery Cyrus, then right back to Kylie– what a romantic! From making music with Nickelodeon to inventing gay pop? I mean, yes, of course, there is Billie Eilish, Lil Nas X, Freddy Mercury, Fletcher, Renee Rap, Sir Elton John, and Girl in Red, but they aren’t Jojo!
Not to mention her most recent rebrand–I need a cold glass of water. Who knew Jojo needed her Reputation era? I’d even go as far as to say, “No one has made this dramatic of a change yet.” Hear me out, Taylor’s rebrand was okay… Ariana’s was alright… 2013 Miley’s was eh…(and no, there is no correlation between Miley Cyrus and Jojo’s ex Avery Cyrus; disappointing, I know). Regardless, her rebrand was just perfect! It was everything that pop culture needed and more. Not only did Jojo rebrand her looks, but also her music with the drop of Karma.
From Boomerang to Karma, she is such a talented artist! Haters may say her image, in general, has been a bit cringe, but you know what they say, “Karma’s a b***h; I should’ve known better.” I’m going to make a bold statement when I say, “What’s been stuck in your head the past few days?” Unlike Taylor, Jojo didn’t need Ice Spice to make the song a top hit; she just needed to drop a music video dry-humping different women (with their consent, of course). She is a mastermind! Not only that, but the hand placement is so yummy! It’s the perfect mix of Kidz Bop meets curse words for the first time. Of course, the haters will say she stole the song… and how dare them! She BOUGHT the song; the only thing she stole was my heart.
Speaking of dry-humping, can we talk about how she went from Dance Moms to her most recent dance moves? Who doesn’t want to see Jojo humping the air for no reason on their Instagram Explorer page? Even Abby Lee Miller supports the rebrand, and let’s be honest, what does Miller actually ever support besides a good old pyramid once in a while? It’s safe to say, at the top of the pyramid is Siwa!
Who needs a bubbly, kid-friendly, and perky artist when you can have a bad girl artist instead? Nothing was more ‘bad girl’ than when she backed her girl Miranda Sings or made a Tik-Tok with the infamous James Charles. Bad girls attract and cancel culture mixed with a random rebrand brings attention. Her PR team, as well as her makeup crew, deserve not only a raise but maybe even 14 Grammys! Not to mention, her fashion designers are incredible! Someone needs to call Met Gala 2024 because who doesn’t want to see the perfect combination of WWE meets KISS on the Met Gala carpet?
Not only is she a singer, but she is also a poet. Don’t get me wrong, Taylor’s Lover to Folklore was good and all, but… It was quite poetic when Jojo went from appealing to a child-based audience to tattooing her future children’s names on her arm. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for Freddie, Eddie, and Teddie to enter this beautiful world.
In conclusion, if I had a podcast, I wouldn’t invite my exes as my guests (although that was pretty strategic of mastermind Jojo). Instead, I would invite the one and only Jojo Siwa. I’ll leave you with these final words, so long ‘JoJo with the bow-bow’ and welcome the new and improved ‘JoJo with the dark glow-glow.’