It took me a long time to feel confident in who I am — to realize that I matter outside of how others perceive me and that it doesn’t matter if they think I’m weird. Clothing was a big part of this. As early as elementary school, I became aware of what was deemed “normal:” leggings or sweatpants, a sweatshirt or a sweater. I’ve never really been “normal,” so wearing those things didn’t put me any closer to it, but it felt like it. It felt safe.

For a long time, I’ve enjoyed dressing up at Ren faires, Halloween and parties, but only at the end of last year did I decide that it could be my everyday clothing. It didn’t take long for me to see the difference. I already owned all of the clothes — I just have the guts to wear them, but when I did, it was wonderful. Don’t get me wrong, it was nerve-wracking to attend school like that the first time, but it soon became a new normal and a happier one.

I started to experiment to see what I liked and what I didn’t. It took a lot of trial and error. Over time, I figured out I didn’t like the minimalist look, I liked both colorful outfits and gothic ones and that I tended to lean toward an older style of dress. My wardrobe and style didn’t develop overnight, they took practice and active thought. It also took the realization that I may not like these things when I’m older and might look back and cringe, but that’s okay, because they bring me joy in the moment.

I know that sometimes my outfits are weird and I guarantee that some may think that my taste is absolutely terrible. However, I’ve never recieved a rude comment on it and I think that’s because I finally feel at home in my skin. I look happy, and that’s the most important part of wearing something you enjoy — not what others think, but what you think.

High school is a time for experimentation and for figuring out what you like and who you are, but recently, I haven’t seen as many people taking advantage of this unique space. Different people have different styles and it’s okay if they overlap, however, there is a difference between coincidentally wearing the same thing and trying to blend in. I get it — I was scared, even if I didn’t realize it at the time, but if we don’t take the time we have now, we may never get another chance. Wear the cut-up T-shirt, the fancy dress, the jeans you embroidered and have fun! You may not get it right the first time, but that’s okay, because we’re all learning ourselves. You shouldn’t dress yourself for the people around you. Do it for you.